Grief all ties together.

My dad had to put our old dog down this evening.  He was a lab/pointer mix, and he was 12 years old.  He's been pretty sick the last 3 days, rather suddenly, so he and my brother decided it was time.

It's interesting how that grief has affected me.  I'm not the type that views animals as children, but they ARE members of the family, and they DO have a way of grabbing your heart.  And it hurts when they have to go.

Missing Mesh (his name was Gilgamesh) has sort of had a domino affect and made me miss my other dog, Princess, who died in 2003 (she thought I was her puppy.  She and I had a really close bond), and now I'm really missing Cora.  I'm learning as I go through this that there are many different circumstances for grief, and many different expressions for grief, but in the end it's the same.  It always hurts.

So rest in peace, Gilgamesh Ruff Hill.  You will be very missed.

Pregnancy and infant loss remembrance day

The big one was for Cora, one of the angel ones was for my family and close friends and the other was for my wonderful, enormous online support community.  It made me sad that there were so many that I hit the limit for the number of tags Facebook allows on a picture.

Walk To Remember

The 2nd Saturday in October every year is the Walk To Remember.  The organization puts together bereavement packages for hospitals to give families there for miscarriage, stillbirth or dealing with infant loss. This year we were lovingly sponsored by our dear friend Aubri.

So the walk is started with a memorial service and balloon release, and then a walk around the lake there at the park.

Today was 34 degrees and freezing rain, so we didn't stay that long.  And sadly, since the temperature dropped from the time the balloons were inflated to when we were supposed to release them, they didn't float (they're actually now on my ceiling, we'll let them go later).

But we went, and it was good, even if we were only there for a little bit.

2 sisters

Erin's been really interested in family relationships lately.  With Allison's birth and having grandparents and other family in town, it's been fun trying to help her understand how we're all related.  Her favorites are her brother and sister though.  lol

So yesterday in the car, she announced that she had 2 sisters.

I said "Yes, you do have 2 sisters.  Who are your sisters Erin?"

"Baby Allison!" she squealed.  She loves her baby sister.

"Yep," I answered, "Who else?"

She paused for a second.  "Not Patrick," she said, thinking, "He's my brother."

"It's true.  So who is your other sister?"

"Um..."  she frowned for a second, and then her eyes went wide. "Baby Cora!"

I love that she is aware of her big sister.  I wish they could have grown up together, but the best I can do for Cora is have her siblings know who she is, right?