Thursday, July 7, 2011

It's all much more emotional than I thought (nursery again)

So yesterday as I was sitting painting my nursery, I had a sort of mini breakdown.  I just had to stop and cry.  Cry for my first nursery and all the memories that didn't get made in it.

Today I'm realizing I'm having a hard time not having everything absolutely perfect.  I'm sure that's more of Cora's nursery arising.  I didn't have the ability to get her nursery exactly the way I wanted, because I was in an apartment and we had no money at all.  And of course, my irrational brain is connecting that nursery imperfection with her death.

I need to make myself relax and just let some things slide.  But really I just want to cry.

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