Nightmares

I don't know what it is.  Knowing that life is so fragile and things can fall apart in an instant...it's always a worry.  Last night I dreamed I was in labor.  Maybe I was having cramps, I don't know.  Anyway, unlike most labor dreams I've had, the baby was fine.

But my husband had died previously.

I didn't actually dream my husband's death, it was just something that was in my dream-memory.  But I was laboring with his child...without him.

Honestly, part of me has to blame it on watching "PS I Love YOU" for the first time recently.

Luckily when I woke up my husband was in bed next to me, and I was able to snuggle close to him with the reassurance, that he was, in fact, alive.


I hope that this....awareness...that I could lose any one of my little family in an instant will fade over time.  But I don't think it will.  I think that it is just now a part of me.  So I snuggle them close while I can, and hope that the day that I can't is far, far, far in the future.