If love could have saved you, you would have lived forever.
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Can't help but relive it: The first of the "lasts"
Wednesday, April 26th, 2006 was my last OB appointment. I'd had quite a bit of bad braxton hicks contractions and cervical pain, so even though I was only 37 1/2 weeks I asked him to check me. I was 2cm dilated and 70% effaced, and he could feel her head (but she pulled away). I was living in Idaho, and my parents would be in Utah that weekend for my brother's graduation that weekend, so I asked about them maybe inducing me so my parents could come up. He answered that he couldn't without medical reason, especially since I wasn't even 38 weeks yet, and just a few days could make a difference. I was a little disappointed, but I understood. As I was leaving he said "Well, see you next Wednesday. That is, if I don't see you before then!" She died Sunday night.
I understand why my doctor answered what he did, I do. I don't truly blame them for what happened. But a few days did make a difference, and I often wonder what my life would be like if he'd answered me differently. I'm quite sure it would have ended up in an emergency csection, and there's a possibility she still wouldn't have survived. But I still wonder.