Monday, September 20, 2010

Making people feel bad

It's interesting how innocent comments people make are hurtful.  They don't know my history, so they don't know what it does to me.

Stake conference was yesterday at church, so there was a lot more traffic in the church parking lot than usual, since EVERYONE in the area was there.  I had my hand on Erin's shoulder as I herded her through the lot, saying "Stay close to me Erin, let's not get hit by a car!"

A lady I didn't know passed me with her teenaged daughter, smiled at Erin, and said "Oh, but then you'd got straight to Heaven! Your mom wouldn't have to worry about you being a teenager!" And then gave her daughter a joking smile.  It was meant to be one of those good-natured parental jabs at their teenager, that's all.

But I admit, all the breath was nearly sucked out of me, and I almost burst into tears right there.  I can't even describe to people what thinking of Erin dying does to me.

I said, "No thank you, I've already done that once, I would really prefer NOT to do that again."

Her eyes went really wide in shock, and she opened her mouth, for an apology probably, but Erin decided to run ahead of me at that point and I had to chase her.

I almost feel bad when I do that to people.  They certainly don't mean to do it.

I almost feel bad.


  1. Well, I'm glad you only *almost* feel bad because if someone EVER says anything like that to me, I will most definitely be on the 5 o'clock news for punching them in the face....regardless of your history, WHY would someone joke about death in such a way? WoW. Some people's sense of humor is just TOO DRY!

  2. yah-- Sometimes I don't know what to say. I just sit there with my mouth open. I believe they are clueless and that helps me forgive but sometimes they aren't and they say things that burn.

  3. Man I don't blame you for doing that one single bit. She's a grown woman, she should know better.

  4. I admire your courage. I haven't made it to the point where I can even speak, let alone make em feel uncomfortable. I had hoped there might be a time when all the stupid crap people say stops. I now realize it will last a lifetime.

  5. I wouldn't feel bad. Not one bit. I know she didn't know your story, but it still hurt you. I'm so sorry she hurt you.

  6. Don't feel bad. They don't get that they could be hurting someone... and sometimes people need a course correction.