Thursday, November 25, 2010


Thanksgiving is always fairly poignant for me.  Cora's name means "Heart full of gratitude."  So every time I think about being grateful I think about her.

I'm so grateful for her.  I'm so grateful for the person and mother she turned me into. While I've forgotten what it felt like to have her in my arms, or what she smelled like, I will never forget how I felt when I found out I was pregnant, or saw her on the ultrasounds screen.  Or even when I found out she had died.  I think the pain I felt in that moment - the worst emotional pain I've ever felt - is a testament to just how much I loved and love her.  I was afraid I wouldn't be capable of loving a child how a mother should love a child, but she proved to me that my capacity to love is far greater than I ever expected.

Happy Thanksgiving darling girl.  I miss you more than words can say.  But I am forever grateful that I got the chance to be your mom, and that I will again someday.  I love you and always will.


  1. Beautiful post Brittanie! I love what you said about your pain showing how much you love her! Its sooo true.

  2. I love you Brittanie, and I agree that us BLMs have a huge capacity to love! Greater than I could've ever imagined! Our angels transform us in to something magical!