Griefbursts

There are times when it just hits you.  I know they say that time makes it better, but I honestly don't think that it does.  Time makes it so you can hold yourself together better.  Time allows you get to know your triggers, so you can anticipate them and steel yourself for those expected moments.

But sometimes, out of nowhere, with no seeming trigger, it just hits.

And after nearly four years, I can say that it still hurts, just like it did that day four years ago.  The shock of it has worn off, but that sharp grief is still there.

I miss her.

I tell others that I like to think of those moments as the moments when she's come to "visit."  It brings me comfort to think of her as being nearby.  It's been 3 years, 10 months, 3 weeks and 5 days.

I just realized how close her birthday is, and I have no clue what to do this year.  And it makes me so sad that I don't have any ideas.


I miss her.