Sunday, March 14, 2010

So different now.

I've always loved researching my family history.  I'm a Mormon, it's just a thing we do.  But more than that, I truly love doing it.  It gives me a great sense of self.

Unfortunately, as you go back in time, child death becomes much more common.  Before, it always made me very sad to see that list.  But now...when I see the death of a baby...it just hurts.  Sometimes it's physically painful.

I was writing out a family group sheet for one particular family the other day (the pedigree chart is the one that looks like a tree, a central person and then it branching out for the parents of each individual for four or 5 generations, the family group sheet lists the parents with all their children).  I thought there was a mistake because they had two daughters named Evelyn.  Records tend to get a little fuzzy when you're earlier than 1800.  As I looked closer I realized that the first daughter died at 9 months old.  The second daughter was born 6 months later, so she was already pregnant when the first daughter died.  It brought tears to my eyes.  It was a shock because I wasn't really expecting that at first.  This particular woman went on to lose two more before the age of 5.  Out of 10 children, 7 survived to adulthood.

My heart just aches for this woman, more than it would have before I lost my own.  When you know, when you really know...it's just so different.

2 comments:

  1. The women had to be so strong back then. They still do, don't get me wrong but that is so sad.

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  2. Reading that sucked the breath out of my lungs, and brought tears to my eyes. I get that physical hurt you're talking about. I may not have lost any babies of my own, but I can empathize with those brothers and sisters. Naming a new baby after a lost sibling was such a common practice then. I don't know if I could do that. That poor sweet woman... ugh, ouch.

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