Tuesday, February 1, 2011

the kindest thing

The February writing challenge for Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope is to "Write about something special a friend, family member, or other loved one did for you after your baby(ies) died that really touched your heart."

We confirmed Cora's death on a Monday, and I was induced the next day, Tuesday.  Wednesday, my brother, sister-in-law and niece, and sister came up from Utah (4 hr drive) to spend the day/night with us.  Honestly, my memories of the days immediately after the fact are very hazy, but I seem to remember that he either called in sick for his Wednesday shift, or went through extraordinary efforts to switch his shift so he didn't have to work that day.  He had Thursday off too, and wanted to spend that day driving home.  They were so wonderful, reminding me that I could go on like nothing had happened because I had physically just delivered a baby so I needed to take things easy.  They vacuumed, did dishes, made meals, and just hugged me and cried with me.  They told me Cora was beautiful (some of the few people to see the pictures of Cora before Matt could touch them up a little), seeing what I saw in her.  They helped me realize that I was not alone in my grief.  They still let me talk about her when I need to.

I also got an anonymous note on my door.   It was exactly a month after Cora's stillbirth, and I was having a hard day.   I walked down to the apartment mailboxes to get my mail, and inside was an enfamil coupon packet with a booklet titled "Cuddling your one month old."  I burst into tears standing at my mailbox, and made my way back to my apartment through misty eyes.  When I got back, there was a note taped to my door.  It's in Cora's scrapbook.  The note simply said that they knew that it was a hard day for me and wanted me to know that they remembered and that I was loved.  To this day I wish I knew who it was, so I could tell her how much it meant to me.

1 comment:

  1. Thank you for posting. It was good for me to think of all the kindness that has come to me.