Oh I wish...

We went to the library today for story time.  It was all well and good, until a woman walked in slightly late with her daughter.  She was about four years old (not quite, I asked afterward), with BRIGHT red curly hair.  She ended up sitting down next to Erin, and watching them interact just broke my heart.

Erin lost her big sister, just like I did.  A loss that neither one of us can really understand, being that it happened before we were born in both families.  Erin will never understand what it is like to have an older sibling, I'll never know what it's like to have an older sister.

So while I normally think about all those things I lost out on, today it hit me what she lost and will never realize.  It's a different feeling, but similar.  They would have been best friends I'm sure of it.

My heart hurts today.  But at the same time, it was nice to get a glimpse.

I bought a small print of this painting shortly after Erin was born:

It's called "Heavenly Hands" by Greg Olsen.  The thing that struck me most is that the artist used as models his two daughters.  So the angel in this picture is, in fact, the older sister.  It hangs on her bedroom wall.  I hope that one day when she's older she can feel like she has a connection to Cora.  I hope that she knows who her sister is.  Because I miss Cora for her.