Monday, June 7, 2010

At least...

I have always hated it when other people have tried to comfort me with any statement beginning with "at least."  I felt it belittled my pain.  You would never tell someone who lost 2-year-old "At least you didn't really know them yet."

But I can tell myself "at least."

I was up all night last night with my little Erin (whose birthday is today, poor thing!), who was very sick.  She threw up several times, and it was SO HARD watching her be so miserable.  As someone who has done WAY MORE than her fair share of puking in the last 5 years, I could totally empathize with her as she cried pitifully between heaves, how afterward she comforted herself with "It's okay Erin.  It's okay.  It's okay."

I hated that I was powerless to do anything for her but clean it up, wipe her off, and tell her I loved her.

At least I won't ever have to watch Cora be sick.  At least I'll never have to hear her cry because she's fallen down and hurt herself, or as I clean out a scrape, or she gets shots.

But in reality......I'd take all that in a heartbeat if it meant I got to have her here in my arms alive.


  1. I hate "At least" I hate it!!! I am so sorry you had to take care of a sick little one last night. I hope she is feeling better today.

  2. I have always felt like "at least" meant "oh shut up and think about this other thing instead". It infuriates me beyond words. I heard that phrase so much in regards to Elizabeth before and after her diagnosis and it still makes me insanely angry enough to not speak to the person again about anything personal. There is no "at least" when it is about your child.