I have a dear friend who is also a baby loss mom. Her little boy, Brian Emerson, died in January of 2008 at 21 weeks gestation (I think). She doesn't talk about him often, but she and I are able to talk about him because we both understand. I understand that not everyone can be as open as I am. I've always been a fairly outspoken person.
Anyway, she's pregnant with a little boy again, and they're having a really hard time naming him. She asked for suggestions today on a facebook status, and another friend of hers whom I don't know suggested the name Brian.
It was a kick in the gut for me. I can only imagine how it would feel for her. I'd be really upset if I asked for names and someone suggested Cora.
I'm hoping her friend just doesn't know. But if she does and suggested it...that's just heartless.
((HUGS)) My MIL actually suggested that *IF* we have another boy we name him Evan Navarro II =( It's very heartless and I'm so sad for your friend....
ReplyDeleteOh Brandi, that's terrible! I'm sorry. I would love it if one of my children named one of their children after Cora. But I will not use her name again, as it feels like it would be an effort to erase her.
ReplyDeleteWow ... I just don't have the words. I truly do hope they just didn't know and weren't being heartless.
ReplyDeleteMy heart goes out to your friend in such a huge way =(
I've been asked a few times if I was going to name my next baby "Cora." It's like nope, I've got one child named Cora. It's ridiculous.
ReplyDeleteOkay, speaking as another angel mom... That is hard. But in some circles, it's almost common. Even as few as 50-100 years ago people did that all the time. I've noticed that a few times when doing genealogy. When a couple loses a baby, or even a child (one I saw died at 10), they would sometimes name the next baby the same name. It was a way of honoring the older sibling that went before. Maybe those people who suggested those things meant it as a way of honoring a loss, instead being insensitive.
ReplyDeleteOr maybe I'm just incapable of believing that someone would be intentionally hurtful to an angel mama.