Thursday, October 28, 2010

One singular moment

I think if someone asked me to name the one singular most-defining moment in my life, most would expect me to say Cora's death.  They'd be wrong though.  Yes...definitely...that was a moment that was very profound and did change who I am and how I see the world.

But there was one moment that did more.

This video is my first ultrasound with Cora.  I had known I was pregnant for several weeks already, and was sicker than sick, but it wasn't real until I saw her on that screen.  And in that moment, I went from just being Brittanie, to being a Mom.  To being Cora's mom.  That was a much bigger change for me than going from Cora's mom to Cora's grieving mom.  Suddenly, someone's needs mattered more than what I wanted, or even than what I needed sometimes.  Suddenly I was needed.  And I realized just how much I needed her.

And that change stayed with me even after Cora died.  That identity remains with me, even though she didn't physically.

I am Cora's mom.


  1. I say DITTO!!! Ok I just noticed that Cora and my 3rd son share the same birthday, weight and length. Mine was born at 12:35pm though. I can't believe how close they were!!!

  2. Wow! That is an awesome video!

    I honestly can't say the same thing and I wish I could! At the ultrasound in my first pregnancy, there wasn't much to see and this time around I was so busy being pessimistic about it lasting or not, that it really hasn't set it. I guess it helps that Cora has an identity--a known gender and a name, which I don't have yet, but even then you didn't know she was a girl. It's all exciting right now, but I'm still waiting for that AHA moment when it really sets in. That's so cool that it happened so early for you! :)