Songs

I love music.  I love mushy love songs, mostly.  That's just the way I am.  When I was younger, I'd always imagine the face of the man that my heart would sing them to.  And in various relationships certain songs would remind me of whomever I was dating.  Now there are a lot of songs that remind me of my husband.

But since losing Cora, sometimes some of those songs take on a whole different meaning.  Yesterday I was listening to the radio as I ran to the store for a quick errand.  It was after the babies were in bed, so my husband stayed home with them.  I was alone in my car, and the words just pierced me through. Well, the beginning.  The end not so much, obviously.

It was "Dreaming of  You" by Selena:

Late at night when all the world is sleeping
I stay up and think of you
And I wish on a star, that somewhere you are
Thinking of me, too.

Because I'm dreaming of you tonight
'Til tomorrow, I'll be holding you tight
And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be
Than here in my room, dreaming about you and me.

I wonder if you ever see me
I wonder if you know I'm there
If you looked in my eyes, would you see what's inside?
Would you even care?

I just want to hold you close,
but so far all I have are dreams of you.
So I wait for the day, and the courage to say
how much I love you. Yes, I do.

'Cuz I'm dreaming of you tonight
'Til tomorrow I'll be holding you tight
and there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be
than here in my room, dreaming about you and me.

Late at night when all the world is sleeping
I stay up and think of you
and I still can't believe that you came up to me
and said "I love you, I love you, too"

Now I'm dreaming with you tonight
'Til tomorrow, and for all of my life
and there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be
than here in my room, dreaming with you endlessly


I have a list of "Cora songs," and it just keeps getting longer.  In brings me comfort in a way, because it makes my favorite songs personal in a way I'd never thought.  I once talked to a girl who said her loss "ruined" songs for her.  But for me, it makes me want to listen to them more.