It's amazing how sometimes this still sneaks up on me, even though I have since had two living and very healthy babies.
I failed to protect my daughter like a mother is supposed to.
Now, I know it's not my fault, I do. I have accepted the fact that there was nothing I could do.
But I still failed.
I think it's interesting to think that, in this day and age of women's rights and equality it still is so hard. I've talked to many women who were very in to that side of things (I'm more of a traditionalist when it comes to female roles), still feel like it's their fault for losses.
In the end, no matter how "equal" women become, there is still something that sets us apart. It is a very fundamental role of a woman to protect her child. It's one of the characteristics that make women women. Now, men protect their children too, don't get me wrong, but it's different for us.
The womb is supposed to be the safest place in the world.
The woman is supposed to protect, nurture and sustain her child until it is strong enough to enter the world and live on its own.
And I failed.
I lost something so fundamental to my worth as a woman at that instant. And I won't ever get that back. And that still hurts.