Not once have I written "To: Cora."
Sometimes I don't notice. Like today, when buying gifts with money sent from Grandma Linda and Grandfather Pat. Erin was running around like a crazy woman and Patrick woke up as Mr. Hyde for the second day in a row. I was trying to find good gifts for them (yes, while they were there) and my husband, trying to avoid people in the aisles, and trying to keep them calm. I was focussed.
And then I started wrapping. "To: Dad," "To: Erin," "To: Patrick."
There are no presents under the tree for Cora. When it comes to money, we tend to be more practical, so buying something for a child that isn't there just doesn't make sense. But that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. What is the thing that she would be over-the-top excited for? What would I get her to wear that would look okay with her complexion and curly red hair? Would I have gotten her and Erin dresses to match?
It's not just the first Christmas that hurts, it's every Christmas. Christmases that I'll never get. I miss her so much. I miss not getting to write her name on labels. Something so simple, it seems, but so very, very huge at the same time.
I totally feel the same thing... Even though I'd like to get Kaelen something, it's just not practical. A friend suggested getting an age appropriate gift and donating it to a charity but this year it's too tight with my dh not working so it's just a no gift year and it sucks. Hugs.
ReplyDeletea friend of mine gets an ornament every year for her angel baby. {make buy,draw} what ever works for you she now has 28 angels hanging on her tree for the 28 christmas' she's not had her baby with her. I thought it was such a great way to have her baby present. {hugs}
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