Friday, December 31, 2010


I know I've said I think about babies and pregnancies in terms of "hopefully," but it breaks my heart to hear others do it.

This evening as we said bedtime prayers, Matt was saying thanks for the last year.  He listed off so many of our blessings.  And then he asked blessings for the new year and things we are planning for and added "And hopefully to have a new child this next year."

Hearing it from my husband just tore my heart out but really put me at peace too.  I'm not alone in this.  I'm not the only one who is scared and wonders.

Cora's death didn't just affect me.  It affected us.  I think it's easy to forget sometimes that he's a grieving parent, too, because he deals with it so differently than I do.  But that doesn't mean he doesn't feel it.

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